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Murphy's Law Strikes Again

    Don't you hate it when the forces of nature conspire with each other to make you look like an idiot?

One Friday night, I was staring intently in my wardrobe, trying to decide what to change into for drinks with an old uni pal (Nicolle).  I had sweated in my t-shirt & jeans that day after a very nice lunch at Becasse courtesy of a research agency.  The unrelenting sun beat down on me as cab after cab passed me by on my way back to the office. 

Back to my wardrobe problem - I was in a panic because Ravi & I had to leave soon in order to get to the Rose Hotel on time.  Ravi suggested I wear what I was wearing yesterday - I hadn't sweated in those clothes (being in air-conditioned comfort that whole day) & my shirt & skirt were hung neatly on a hanger (so I wouldn't need to iron them).  Ravi said the chances of anyone from work seeing me at the bar that night were pretty slim.  I listened to him (in hindsight, why, oh why did I listen to him?!) & so changed into my outfit of yesterday.

When we arrived at the Rose Hotel (Ravi, Lilanee - another uni friend - & I) who did we see but another uni friend (Barbara) sitting at a table inhabited by people from the advertising agency my work does all their below-the-line advertising through!  What made it worse was that I sat through a 4-hour workshop with one of them (Nick) yesterday - in this very same outfit!  I was mortified!  I tried hiding behind Ravi but Nick saw me & came over to give me a drunken hug & kiss.  What are the chances?  What are the chances?  About 98% in my case.

Don't you feel sometimes that Someone 'upstairs' is laughing at you?

Lilanee, Ravi & I ended up catching up with Barbara since Nicolle failed to show up.  Apparently no-one called Nicolle about her email invite (and she was already on holidays when I emailed her back a few days later saying we were coming) so she thought no-one was free to catch up.

Cupid Finds the Captain

Captain Booger Features bought a present for a girl with his own pocket money for the first time!  She's an older woman (Yr 4) & for the purposes of this blog we will call her Angelina because she has very full lips.  The captain wanted to buy Angelina a Christmas present so we went to Diva where he picked out a cute pair of rainbow earrings.  He strode to the counter to pay, followed by his proud mother.  There were 2 girls behind the counter.  My pride turned to irritation when the following exchange unfolded . . .

CBF: I'd like to buy this please.
Girl#1: They're nice earrings.
CBF: (Alarmed) They're not for me!  They're for a girl.
Clare: It's his first present to a girl using his own pocket money.
Girl#1: (Smiles) That's so cute!
CBF: I'm a little nervous.  I have to get past her girl guards to give her the present.
Girl#1: I'm sure she'll love the earrings.
Girl#2: You know what else she'll love?  (Reaches across counter to retrieve a box)  She'll love this gift box of 5 lip glosses at only $7.95.
CBF: (Nervously) Umm, okay-
Clare: (To Girl#2) No, he's just going to get the earrings, not the lip gloss.  And you should be ashamed of yourself!

Girl#2 completed the purchase silently.

Can you believe her cheek?!

Needless to say, Captain Booger Features used his superhero skills to get past teh girl guards & give the present to Angelina in person who exclaimed, "This is so cute!"  That night teh captain was pretty happy with himself.  He said there was a Yr 4 boy who was angry with him because he likes Angelina too (so that apparently makes her off-limits to any other kid) but teh captain didn't seem to mind if Angelina liked the Yr 4 boy better.  I asked the captain if he expected Angelina to give him a present (or a hug/kiss) in return for his gift but he said, "No.  I just wanted to give her a Christmas present."  My heart sang with the knowledge that Ravi & I are raising a person who is content in teh act of giving without expecting anything in return.

However my singing heart hiccupped when I asked about his Christmas presents to us, to which he replied, "I don't have that much money.  I can only afford $2 for your presents."  And he spent $10 on that hussy!  Can you believe his cheek?!

Picture: Captain Booger Features at Movie World in the Gold Coast in October 2007.

WWE Fans: a different class of human

                                                                               Ravi & I took one of his work colleagues to a World Wrestling Entertainment event at Acer Arena.  I got the tickets through work & had always wanted to see what the big deal was.  I know that the whole thing is bogus but when I saw the real thing for the first time I was puzzled as to why most fans believe the fights are real.  Didn't the exaggerated punches that stop short of contact give it away?  Or are they fooled by the imperfectly synchronised foot-stomping after the huge wind-up before the punch to air?

The biggest thing that shocked me came in the form of an angelic girl of 6 sitting with her normal-looking (that is, no piercings in areas outside of earlobes, no brandings on the face, etc.) parents & 2 brothers sitting in the row before us.  She had golden hair & a sweet voice as she raised her hands in the devil's sign & shouted, "You're a wanker!  You're a wanker!" to a wrestler in the ring who was spraying the crowd with water from his mouth!  (I thinking th term for that is spitting!)  Her parents cheered her on!  I cringed thinking about what kind of person that sweet-looking girl would become....all class, I bet.  Or better yet, Captain Booger Features' Friday night date 7 years from now!

End of blogging drought

Dear Diary,

Wow, it has been a while since my last blog entry!  My self-imposed hiatus was due to my inability to access the Internet at home (until now) since we moved house & work being especially demanding these past 3 weeks.  But I'm back & lots has happened.  Rather than strain the reader's eyes with drawn-out tales of our escapades, I have detailed them in bullet-points for your convenience.  I may elaborate on individual events at a later date.  Since my last blog entry (6th June 2007) the following has played out in the lives of Captain Booger Features, Ravi & I (in no order of chronology nor importance):

• We've become Balmain-ites, moving house a few weeks ago.  We love our new place.  There's a pool upstairs.  Pictures forthcoming.  Our cleaner has also moved with us!
• Ravi has resumed riding on his motorbike again.
• Captain Booger Features celebrated Holy Communion last week.
• Farewell dinner for Irene & Brian before they moved to Canada.
• We were robbed!  Thank God for insurance - everything was replaced.  Special place in hell for thieving bastards!
• Celebrated Thuy's birthday last Sunday - quite a feat in itself since Tweety usually celebrates her birthdays overseas.
• Tony Blair left No. 10 Downing Street.  Replaced by Gordon Brown.  (1 out, 2 more to go.)
• My workload is more manageable after my boss assigned me an analyst (who shall be known as "Young Paduan" in future blog entries)
• Paris Hilton started & finished her prison sentence (with a lot of drama in-between).
• Have already filled half the cast for "The Divine Plan".  More auditions to come but it's very exciting as more people get involved in this production.
• Ravi, Tung & I had Thai massages.  (Are they supposed to hurt?)
• To Captain Booger Features' horror, he is finding himself falling 'in like' with a pretty classmate called Samira.  He is starting to find out that girls can be quite strange & illogical at times.  He insists he doesn't like her despite mentioning her name in nearly every conversation.
• Ravi & Kylie challenged each other in a cook-off.  Kylie bested Ravi (although it took a score of 3 decimal points to decide the winner) - which makes me the loser of the loser (having lost the previous cook-off with Ravi...don't get me started on Ravi's billety rice!).
• Is it just me or does the Australian media seemed a bit obsessed about the endeavour to refloat the Pasha Bulker?  It's just a big ol' boat for heaven's sakes!
• Poker resumed after a long break.  Details of the game here.
• Ravi & I attended Ravi's 15-year high school reunion.  It was fun & interesting to observe the different personalities in the room - who were the loud kids in the class, the shy kids, the smart kids, etc.

I think that about covers it.  Going to sleep now . . . .

Picture originally uploaded by jenophoto.

Delicate Sneezer

Over the weekend, I developed a cold.  Geez, I hate colds.  I detest that plugged up feeling you get in your nose which travels to your brain and ears.  I abhor the mountain of used tissues that litter the carpet next to the overflowing wastebasket.  I despise the skin flakes off my nose due to the constant rubbing of eucalyptus tissues.  But what I hate the most is the sneezing!  I have always aspired to be one of those delicate sneezers, whose nose merely wrinkles as the rush of air squeaks out like a mouse.  Not me.  Every sneeze is preceded by an escalating intake of breath before the rush of air that sounds like a foghorn.  This sound is normally coupled by a physical transformation of sorts.  My whole face wrinkles up and tears well up in my eyes.  My whole body is thrown by the sheer weight of the air desperate to get out.  I'm almost physically thrown back to the wall as the foghorn sounds.  When everything settles and I can finally open my eyes again I half expect to be in another room - such is the force of my sneeze.  Worse still, I never do solitary sneezes - they always come in pairs or trios.  I wish I was a delicate sneezer....

Picture originally uploaded by melisdramatic.

The Loveably Dense Are a Scarce Breed

Because of the work that I do & the people I normally encounter at parties, functions, etc. I rarely meet genuinely clueless (but loveable) people.  But, wonders of wonders, we've hired a new receptionist (Natalie) at the Brisbane office.  The following scenario happened a few days ago (& had us cracking up for ages!).  Main players are: James (Chief Financial Officer), Bryan (senior-level IT manager), Kim (Chief Executive Officer), Tracey (HR Manager) & Natalie (new, young receptionist).

James:  (On phone to Natalie) Natalie, Bryan & I need to go to Melbourne for a conference so can you organise flights and accommodation?  Make sure the accommodation is 5-star but get a good deal, with breakfast included, etc.

Natalie: (On phone to James) Sure, James, right away.  (Hangs up phone.)

An hour later....

Natalie: (Calls James) James, it's Natalie.  I have one question.  What size bed do you want?

James: (Confused) Size bed?

Natalie: Yes.  What size bed do you want?

James: (Confused) Err, normal sized....

Natalie: (Hesitant) You know....for you and Brian....

James: (Realisation dawns on him) Separate rooms, Natalie!  Separate rooms!

Natalie: (Horrified) OhmiGod!  Of course!  I'm sorry!  I'll fix it right away!  (Hangs up phone.)

James visits Kim and Tracey in Kim's office & tells him what happened.

Kim: (Annoyed) I want her out!  How did she get past the interview stage?

James: You can't fire her.  It's her first job & it would destroy her confidence.

Kim: Okay, but she's off the phones!  Better yet, let's put her on bird shit patrol!

Tracey: What's bird shit patrol?

James: (Sheepish) Kim recently bought outdoor furniture for his office balcony but birds keep shitting on it.  The balcony needs a scarecrow....

Picture originally uploaded by PDCativou.

Feel the Power....of a car freshener!

We recently purchased a car freshener during our weekly grocery shop.  We got Champion by the good people of Ambi Pur (in partnership with Williams F1).  The description of the fragrance is hilarious!  Guess who the target market is for this product....

"This fragrance is for those who have a positive perception of their own power.  It's inspired by the feeling of champagne rain freshness after the victory.  Champion is a superior mix of authority and confidence: powerful herbal notes combined with a sophisticated base of wood and amber."

Picture originally uploaded by almost foodies.

Men are from Uranus!

Ravi was driving me to work this morning and we were listening to the Kyle & Jackie O breakfast radio show on 2DayFM.  They were talking to a caller about being pressured to have babies or get married after a certain age....

Kyle:  I told Tamara (Kyle's fiancee) that we won't be having babies for years.
Jackie O:  Why?
Kyle:  Because I don't want her to lose her hell bod.
Caller: You don't know that she won't get her hell bod back.
Kyle: Nah, I've seen women after they have babies and those that get their body shape back are very few.
Jackie O:  You're supposed to love her for who she is, not just for what she looks like.
Kyle: No, I love her for who she is AND what she looks like.
Jackie O:  What about when she gets older?
Kyle: Gone!
Ravi:  (To Clare) See, I'm not that bad.  At least I'd let you stay in the house.
Clare:  (To Ravi) You're an idiot.

Picture originally uploaded by Jan Tik.

What goes around, comes around

Yesterday someone banged into the front of Annie while she was parked & left a big dent on the front bumper.  Without even a note or anything!  (By the way, Annie is my car.)  I can't believe people can be so rude!  Well, karma, baby.....

Picture depicting the Avenging Unicorn playset originally uploaded by wigu.

Omens from Simple Pleasures

I don't know about you but I derive portent omens from everyday, routine pleasures.  Case in point.  On Saturdays I usually do the word games on the back page of Spectrum from The Sydney Morning Herald.  I'm usually able to complete the Kids' Sudoku but am never able to complete the Moderate Sudoku (I usually make a mistake midway that screws it up for me).  I also attempt the Target word game (where you have to make minimum 4-letter words from a select 9 letters, with the centre letter involved in every word, & finding a word that uses all the 9 letters - pictured).  I am usually able to make enough words to make the 'good' list but I usually cannot find the 9-letter word.  I also do the quick crossword.

This morning, while Ravi updated his blog & Captain Booger Features applied a screwdriver to his Lightning McQueen car to make a hybrid car with 6 wheels (funnily enough he was able to connect it to another battery so all 6 wheels actually rotate when switched on!), I set to work on my routine word games.  To my surprise I found the 9-letter word & completed the Moderate Sudoku game without too much difficulty!  Bodes well....  It's funny how a seemingly small achievement inspires you to indulge in the promise of the day...

Picture originally uploaded by The Sydney Morning Herald.  Let me know if you want to know what the 9-letter word is.